Are You Breaking A Parenting “Law” If You Don’t Love Your Kids The Same?

children-745688_640You can’t deny that this thought has gone your head: do you love all your children equally? And of course there’s that dreaded accusation from your kids that you’ve probably heard: “you like him/love him more than me” or “you are mean to me, but nice to her” or many other renditions of this same thought or idea.

So if you’ve ever reproached yourself wondering if you really are possibly guilty of these accusations, then you may want to take a step back and contemplate this. It’s not that you don’t love your kids equally, it’s that you may want to recognize that your kids themselves are different. And different kids can mean different love, but that doesn’t mean it’s not equal.

Go ahead and accuse me of loving my boys differently than eachother. I completely agree with you. I love them differently, completely.

To my boys,

I love you all the same, but different.

I’ve been thinking and doing some self “observing” lately. Call me thoughtful, bored, emotional or whatever. Although you could probably write “bored” off the list as it seems there is no time for this luxury. God created me, watched me grow and stumble, get back up, and so forth and then decided I was worthy of four beautiful boys. Shocking isn’t it? It shocks me, most days. It astounds me because I know myself. My strengths and weaknesses. Like most people out there, I can list all my inadequate character flaws to you, my short comings and all the reasons why I should not be trusted with four lives so precious. However, God knows my heart and He felt differently about the whole matter. He sees us all for what we are. What our true value is, our capabilities. Even when we can’t, He sees what we can bring to the table.

So I was questioning myself, “do I love my boys the same?” The answer is yes and also no. Let me explain. Yes I love them the same. I would put my life down for any and all of them. Fiercely protect them all. Encourage and push them all the same. (Although, often in different directions) Ultimately I want them to share the same basic qualities. My hearts desire is for them to be men seeking God, kind, honest, hard working and independent. Men who can stand for what’s right and just. Men of integrity. Men who will make good husbands and wise fathers. Men, who stand out for WHO they are and not for WHAT they have.

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Author: busydayparenting

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